It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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