I hate your face
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize