We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
