I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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