yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
