oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
