he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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