Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
