well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
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