The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
