She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
