It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
