Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
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I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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