so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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