Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
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I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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