yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
