So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize