And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
