I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
