Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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