U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i wish my penis had a tongue
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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