You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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