Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
