Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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