So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
