In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
