Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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