I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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