Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
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