She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
