I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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