at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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