Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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