I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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