I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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