Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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