Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
