Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
