can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
