I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
