Kiss
Puke
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
