yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
