i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
farters have to be the big spoon...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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