Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
