I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Still dying that you shit outside
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
