Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
