Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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