Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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