Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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