Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
