What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
