i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
my poor anus
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
