update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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