i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
