just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Will exercising make me less horny?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
