So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
