You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
