Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
