i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
