I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
