I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
