she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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