i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i think i just lost a toe
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