I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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