She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
